Contradictions
I am a complicated person. I want what I don't have, & overlook what I do have. I do not look back when I flee, & I daydream about what could've been if I stayed. I desire people I can lean upon, & close myself off when I am afraid. I stomach the unpleasantness of life so nobody else will have to, & I want someone to relate with my suffrage.
This has been becoming apparent in my day to day life. I spend my life in a limbo, thinking & never taking, dwelling & never fixing. It takes it's toll on things, chipping away. Being behind a few weeks on school has turned into years, because I want to work yet I don't have the capacity. I want accomplishments, but I don't want to get my hands dirty.
As I write this— I feel lonely & stuck in my academics. I have 30 unread texts from people who want my attention & the project I'm working on stays open on my computer, only minutes away from completion. I could change and become who I want to be, but I think I'd rather stay the same.